First off, Congratulations to the lovely Iris for winning promoter of the month of October! A member of our SwimClassy marketing team has gotten the opportunity to interview her about a recent loss of a loved one and how she stays positive. We want to thank her for taking the time to talk about such a sensitive subject, and being very open to our questions. Iris recently lost her boyfriend and wants to help others stay positive through such tough times.
Kristen: We understand that you have just recently been through a loss of a love one, and this experience can be very painful to many, as well as life changing, what are you doing to cope through these tough times?
Iris:You know I never thought it would be me. I never thought that I'd be in the position I'm in. The loss of losing my boyfriend and in such a horrific way kills me each day. During these hard times I cope by trying to smile again, by seeing his family because when I'm with them, it's like I'm with him. They see me as apart of the family now and I love the feeling of them being only a phone call away. I try and remember the good memories we shared instead of bad. Trying to become the women he knew I could be. He wanted so much for me. I'm definitely not the same person I once was that's for sure. I find myself more emotional now and confused. Confused because I question, why him?
Kristen: What has changed for you since losing your boyfriend and do you think this has made you a stronger person?
Iris: Everything has changed, my whole world came crashing down the day I got the call from his family. Screaming at the top of my lungs, crying for days. I even tried to commit suicide because I felt I just couldn't go on. Yet, is that what he would have wanted for me? No, not at all! Soon, I came to the conclusion I cant do that, can't be like that. Just sit and cry all day, my babe wouldn't have wanted that for me. He would have wanted me to be happy and trying to live for him through me. I catch myself texting his phone still, calling it just to see if it's still on. I can't eat, drive, or hangout at certain places. I can't hangout with certain people anymore cause the reminder is too much to handle or cause of the bad... I do believe this has made me stronger, but I'm still learning how to grow and deal with all the different emotions from my boyfriend's loss. In time I believe it will make me a lot stronger than what I am right now, but it's hard to have faith sometimes. Especially when I find myself in grief. Crying and not eating for days cause the depression.
Kristen: What do you do when you catch yourself in grief? How do you cheer yourself up?
Iris: I try and talk to a friend or maybe hangout with one of his friends to make it better. To sit and talk; reminisce about the good times we all had with him. There was so much good in him even if he was a little off track. That was my baby. Three years I spent with him; the good and the bad made us stronger
Kristen: What was your favorite memory with your boyfriend?
Iris: My favorite memory of us would have to be the first time he kissed me. He asked me to the movies as a friend, but we both wanted more. The movie I don't really remember, but I remember him grabbing my hand and holding it. When he took me home; we hung out a little more than he had to go. I walked him to the door, he sat and just stared at me. Then he went for it, pulled me in and kissed me. I felt immediate sparks between us. That warm fuzzy feeling! Well, after that we were inseparable . I felt he was my soulmate...
Kristen: What advice would you give to others who have lost someone special and how can they stay positive?
Iris: There's not much advice I can give to others than take it day by day. And that they are watching over you everyday all day. That with each breath you take; take one for them as well. Live for them through yourself. Accomplish who and what you want to become in life. Don't hold back. Make them proud. I know my boyfriend wanted me to be successful and happy. I try to do better each day that comes. Believe and have faith that good will come. And soon it will. God has bigger plans for those he takes from us all to early. So cherish your time spent with loved ones. Not each day is promised...
Thank you so much Iris for the interview, and continue being the strong and positive woman that you are. You can find Iris on IG at instagram.com/iris_janine